7 Things I Have Learned From 30 Years od Christian Mentoring

8 hours ago

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Article by: Kara Martin

The Washington Institute for Faith, Vocation, and Culture

Read the original article HERE

In an article by Kara Martin, entitled, “7 Things I Have Learned From 30 Years of Christian Mentoring,” she notes that “the reality is that we are all mentors to some degree. However, the influence could be so much greater if we were a little more intentional.”

As she reflected on her experience and career of mentoring others, she identified seven key things she has learned from 30 years of professional mentoring.They are:

1. There is no single definition of mentoring, and there are many ways to mentor

This is a little bit controversial, because there are overlaps between mentoring and other much more cherished and defined terms such as discipleship, spiritual direction, coaching, or professional supervision.

She notes that Australian John Mallison’s model of mentoring is a good one to consider, noting the “different roles that the mentor might assume as they encourage the mentee: spiritual guide, coach, teacher, counselor, pastor, sponsor, model, and leader.”

2. You don’t have to be an expert

The old model of mentoring sees the mentee as an empty glass, to be filled with the outflowing of the mentor’s wisdom. This can mean most people don’t feel ready to be a mentor. “Am I wise enough? Do I know enough? Am I experienced enough?” we might ask.

However, if the metaphor for mentoring is one of accompaniment, then we all have a role to play. It’s much healthier to see mentoring as walking alongside someone else for a period, with the chief goal of encouraging them.

3. You are partnering with God

In this accompaniment role, you are never alone as a mentor. Instead, you are partnering with God in seeking to support the mentee’s growth and learning. I would be a fool not to pray that God—who knows the mentee far better than I ever will (Psalm 139)—would prompt me to provide the words and example that the mentee needs.

It is a privilege to partner with God to be someone to whom the mentee “dares to speak on terms of equality as to another self, one to whom the mentee can confess failings, and unblushingly make known what progress they have made in the spiritual life.”

4. You are fulfilling the Great Commission

While we often think that the Great Commission is all about evangelism, Jesus tells us in Matthew 28:18–20 to “make disciples” and to “teach them to obey everything I have said.” Mentoring is a critical part of that formational process. Too often we think our responsibility ends with teaching beliefs to new believers, rather than teaching and modeling to Christians how to behave as Jesus-followers in all the contexts where God has placed us. Discipleship is a lifelong whole-of-life process.

5. Young people are desperate for it

In well-known research from Barna focused on why young people are leaving the church, part of the concern of young adults who were deconstructing was that they could not see how their faith was relevant to their lives. Further, they reported a lack of relationships within church that taught them wisdom.

In Faith for Exiles, Barna CEO David Kinnaman and co-author Mark Matlock outline the five practices for a new generation to engage as they follow Jesus:

experiencing intimacy,
being able to practice cultural discernment,
forging intergenerational relationships,
training for vocational discipleship, and
engaging in counter-cultural mission.

All of these could be enabled through mentoring.

6. The Bible is full of it

There are many models and commands for mentoring in the Bible. Among the models are:

Jethro and Moses (Exodus 18)
Moses and Joshua (Deuteronomy 31:1–8, 34:9) and Caleb (Numbers 13; 14:6–9; 34:16–19; Joshua 14:6–15)
Samuel and Saul (1 Samuel 9–15), and David (1 Samuel 16; 19:18–24)
Jonathan and David (1 Samuel 18:1–4; 19:1–7; 20:1–42)
Elijah and Elisha (1 Kings 19:16–21; 2 Kings 2:1–16; 3:11)
Naomi and Ruth (Ruth)
Barnabas and Saul/Paul (Acts 4:36–37; 9:26–30; 11:22–30) and John Mark (Acts 15:36–39; 2 Timothy 4:11)
Priscilla and Aquila and Apollos (Acts 18:1–3, 24–28)
Paul and Timothy (Acts 16:1–3; Philippians 2:19–23; 1 and 2 Timothy) and Titus (2 Corinthians 7:6, 13–15; 8:17; Titus).

Of course, our primary model is Jesus and his disciples (see point 7); as well as Jesus and Mary and Martha (Luke 10, John 11).

Then there are biblical commands such as Paul’s exhortation to “imitate me as I imitate Christ” (1 Corinthians 4:16 cf. 11:1), and to “admonish one another with wisdom” (Colossians 3:16), as well as Hebrews 13:7: “Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you; consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.” The Bible is an incredible reservoir of wisdom not just for the process of mentoring, but the content of mentoring. Ultimately, biblical wisdom is the best tool for shaping any human to be who they are meant to be in Christ, to do the work God has prepared in advance for them to do (Colossians 2:10).

7. Jesus is our model for it

The best model of a mentor is Jesus, who prayerfully chose his disciples (Luke 6:12–16), taught them, modeled holy living, sent them out and then debriefed them (Luke 10), prayed for them (John 17) and commissioned them (Matthew 28:18–20, Acts 1:8).

Unlike Jesus, not many of us get to be available 24/7 for our mentees (and we probably wouldn’t want to be), however, there is much to learn from Jesus’ mentoring methods, such as when he washed the feet of the disciples in John 13:1–17. That biblical account reveals the Jesus way:

Showing before telling.
Gently correcting
Teaching through asking questions, and
Finishing with application

Mentoring is an incredible privilege—to be invited to participate with God in the shaping of another’s life. There are not many more valuable legacies of investment of one’s time, experience, and knowledge.